Sunday, February 8


Masculine and feminine
The two wouldn’t exist without each other
In this duality at the base of our society is generated so much conflict and so much good
There are so many conflicts that we live with, it is the hope that these conflicts generate good things, which live on beyond them and survive their destruction, that we engage them, create them

Other inner conflicts/masculine-feminine dichotomies we live with are
outward expression vs an inward reflection
correcting the work of others vs correcting yourself

the two have to be balanced within yourself and your work in the world
you have to have both high ideals about what the world should be like
and strong character to make the world the way you should think it should be

balance is key, especially in a place like college
where there is so much potential for outward action and inward reflection

For me this balancing act extends to many parts of my life
The strongest dancers are those that train in both modern and ballet, and we train in both in our dance ensemble
We train for strength and flexibility
Currently it is my most important spiritual practice

I have also been heavily involved in the Christian church and the queer community
I see a difference between religion, which is an outward social expression with all the itenerant problems of social association
And a personal faith, which is a personal drive for integrity that has many expressions

My drive for integrity brought me to coming out and embracing my sexuality, despite my deepest fears
The queer community is something that sort of dominates my social interactions now
But it is the journey I am on, and once a balance is achieved there it will be time to move on
To a new journey

I think it is important to let yourself be on the tasks you have been given

I see the same kinds of social structures in the queer community as in the faith community
Discussions, retreats, social events designed to build trust for honest self-expression
And move everyone genuinely towards more integrity, pride and honor
Both are imperfect at achieving these goals, but are trying hard and making real change

My faith is based on the idea of the trinity
The father, who represents the law which is strongly enforced
The Son, who represents a radical grace and forgiveness
And something that communes with those two and with us, the Holy Spirit

For me the Holy Spirit is a synthesis of the Father and Son
It gives me hope for the inspiration to find similar synthesis in my own life
And encourage synthesis for others.

A Holy Spirit filled life is my ideal of an enlightened life
It rejects duality
Transcends conflict
It is inspiration to do good, not dogmatic control of evil
It looks on the light and the darkness, the good and the bad
And finds a place to move with them, over them, on them, through them
Never resting too long on its self-interest, but taking care of oneself as a crucial element of the whole

1 comment:

Fiyu Pikni said...

Good day Queer Spirit,

I greatly enjoy reading your view on your blog. I personally find Christianity and homosexuality to be incompatible, but I do respect your stance on this very controversial issue.

In this post, you mentioned a few things that linger in my mind.

I don't fully understand this concept of "coming out". What does it really mean to you? I have not undergone a process that I would term as "coming out", yet I fully embrace my sexuality. You speak of it as though it is a process of transformation...but for me, "coming out" wasn't the signifier of my desire to transform into my homosexual self.

So...I never associated my desires for me with homosexuality; it wasn't an option. Then I realized that I wanted to be with me, so then I accepted that I was homosexual. I was the same person before and after...just with a different understanding of the sexual inclinations I had always had.

Remember in class, when we discussed the formation of communities...we conceded that being a part of a community influences one's behaviour. You say that the queer community "sort of" dominates your so? And why?

I don't define my heterosexual friends by their a matter of fact...I have no interest in their sex lives whatsoever. But this idea of "coming out" into a new identity, a queer identity, boggles my mind.

I'm sure there is a very good explanation for this phenomenon...possibly motivated by the oppression/ exclusion of gays in popular culture...and the need to reaffirm one's acceptance of their homosexual self.

I'm not sure if any of this is very clear...but if you understand what I mean, I would love to hear your thoughts.